My heart is heavy

I recently learned of the passing of a little boy named Parker. He was only 16 months old and died of a rare form of brain cancer. I went to high school with his father, who was several years ahead of me. Through friends, I learned about Parker's story. He was only 6 months old when he started having seizures. After many tests and various diagnoses, including infantile spasms, physicians ultimately confirmed that Parker had developed brain tumors. For four months, he was receiving treatment at Shands Hospital in Gainesville, where his pain was controlled and his progress was gradual. At Christmas, he appeared to have improved. But by January, his prognosis had deteriorated. Last week, the doctors told his parents there was nothing more they could do for him. He returned home to a hospice center in Tallahassee last Friday to be closer to his family. On Monday morning, February 8, Parker became an angel.

Parker's journey has had a huge effect on many people, including me. It's never easy to understand why or how a life can be cut so short. It doesn't seem fair that an innocent baby should suffer so much pain and a family must endure the heartache that comes with losing a child. Every night for the past month, I would check on Parker's progress and pray for a child I've never even met. I'd often wonder why his story had such a huge impact on me. Perhaps it was because he was a twin, and the twin brother he left behind is named Drew. Perhaps it's because I knew his father, even if only from a distance. Perhaps it's because I'm a mother. Perhaps it's because I'm human.

It does seem sad that it takes stories like Parker's to remind me of how fortunate I am. But that is part of the beautiful legacy he leaves behind. Today, when my boys misbehaved, I scolded them, but gently and with a heart filled with thanks for being so blessed. Tonight, like every night since I heard about Parker, I hugged my boys longer than normal.

I will continue to pray for Parker's family in the months ahead. I hope they find comfort and peace, knowing what an amazing son they raised for the past 16 months. I also hope they know how far his wings extended. Sweet dreams, baby Parker.